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Many people think that what the addict needs is willpower, but nothing could be further from the truth: When a person has already lost control over a drug or activity, attempts to control its use almost never work. Because the source of addiction isn't the drug or activity itself but a desire for a mood changer, successful recovery means ultimately changing the way we live, giving up the addictive life-style. Willpower's Not Enough will show you how to change your life-style and to recover from your addiction.
- Sales Rank: #108032 in Books
- Brand: Washton, Arnold M./ Boundy, Donn
- Published on: 1990-09-26
- Released on: 1990-09-26
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .65" w x 5.31" l, .48 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
About the Author
Arnold M. Washton, Ph.D., is founder and executive director of Recovery Options (www.recoveryoptions.us), a private addiction treatment practice located in New York City and Princeton, New Jersey. An internationally recognized addiction psychologist and book author, Dr. Washton has developed an directed several well-known substance abuse treatment programs and has served as consultant to professional sports teams, government agencies, and major corporations.
Most helpful customer reviews
47 of 50 people found the following review helpful.
Emotional pain is the problem, not drugs!
By Barbara S. Reeves
According to Webster's New World College Dictionary, "dis" is a prefix meaning, "opposite or lack of." "Ease" means "freedom form pain, worry or trouble." So "dis-ease" must mean "lack of freedom from pain, worry or trouble." I can't think of a better way to describe addiction. "Willpower's Not Enough: Recovery from Addictions of Every Kind" by Arnold Washton and Donna Boundy can help you rediscover that freedom.
That's the whole paradox of addiction - when we started using, drugs and alcohol offered us freedom from pain, worry and trouble. But in the end, they only created more of what we were trying to escape.
Washton and Boundy compare addiction to a bad marriage with five stages: infatuation, honeymoon, betrayal, on the rocks, and trapped. When the addict reaches the trapped stage and finally decides to quit, he attempts to use willpower and self-control. But it doesn't work because he will continue to suffer from the emotional pain that made him use in the first place. It's like he's removed a band-aid to expose a nasty, suppurating wound that won't heal on its own. Eventually he'll put the band-aid back on because he can't, or won't, see the real issue. Drugs are not the problem; the emotional pain is!
"Willpower's Not Enough" looks at the microcosm of addiction - the person - as well as the macrocosm - society. Something is wrong with our country when, at five percent of the world's population, we consume sixty percent of the world's illicit drugs. Our society has created the perfect culture for addiction to thrive, and we are in denial about it. Even Hillary Clinton, when discussing the Mexican drug wars at our border, acknowledged that we need to figure out why our country has such a huge appetite for drugs. Most certainly the advertising practices of our capitalistic society plays a huge part. We are constantly bombarded with ads telling us that we're not good enough unless we buy their products. We're too fat, our teeth aren't white enough, we're not successful enough. They tell us the right cologne, shampoo, hair gel, clothes or whatever will increase our sex appeal. We're so used to seeing these ads, that we don't notice the subtle psychological damage being done.
And our families play a huge part also. The authors state that, "The single most distinguishing trait of the addiction-generating family is that it fails to meet the dependency needs of its children, not necessarily by outright neglect and abandonment, but much more often, by failing to acknowledge the child's emotional reality." An addictive personality doesn't just spontaneously develop. Childhood experiences are often the biggest factor in the development of an addictive personality.
But ultimately the responsibility to recover falls to the person, the addict himself. Of paramount usefulness is a list of 28 addictive personality traits provided by the authors. I can now see which characteristics of my own personality contributed the most to my addiction, and I can work to change them. And the authors offer a long list of advantages to attending 12 step groups even if you don't wholeheartedly agree with their philosophy. Some of these advantages include: hope, non-judgmental support, feedback, a sense of belonging, and it's free.
For the person affected by someone else's addiction, there is a section with a list of facts about the disease and steps for dealing with the using addict as well as the recovering addict.
Abstinence by itself is not recovery. The addict will always be moving away from his addiction or towards it. There's no standing still. And just as bacteria thrives in certain conditions, so does addiction. These conditions must change. You must create a healthier environment and lifestyle for yourself and "Willpower's Not Enough" can help you achieve that goal.
28 Addictive personality traits (with my explanation) listed in "Willpower's Not Enough" by Arnold Washton and Donna Boundy:
1. Feelings of shame - I am ashamed of who I am.
2. Perfectionism - I believe I should be perfect (impossible) and am too hard on myself when I'm not.
3. Hunger for power and control - I try to manipulate and control other people and events.
4. Dishonest and self-deluding - I lie to myself and others so I can continue using.
5. Thinking in black and white extremes - My thinking is rigid. I'm not objective.
6. Self-obsessed - I do not think of others because I'm constantly licking my own wounds.
7. Self-less - I do not know who I really am so I try to be someone I'm not.
8. Inner emptiness - I have a hole in my heart that nothing can fill.
9. Without meaning and purpose - I have no goals or ambitions in life that I strive for.
10. Excessive approval seeking - I'm always looking for a pat on the back.
11. Self-censoring - I'm afraid to be myself.
12. Guilt-ridden - I carry excessive guilt for past actions.
13. Trouble managing anger - I either stuff my anger or inappropriately act on it.
14. Underlying depression - I have consistent feelings of sadness and don't enjoy life.
15. Emotional numbness - I don't know how to express my feelings.
16. Inner tension - I'm restless and always looking for distractions.
17. Afraid of taking risks; fear of rejection - I'm afraid to try anything new.
18. Hidden dependency needs - I'll smother you with my neediness.
19. Trouble with authority figures - I don't like being told what to do.
20. Blaming others; victim role - I blame other people for my problems and don't take responsibility for them.
21. Poor coping skills - I lack the ability to fix my problems.
22. Wishful thinking - I refuse to accept reality or live life on life's terms.
23. Never wanting to grow up - I'm afraid of responsibility.
24. Without borders - I'm a passive people pleaser who's afraid to say "no."
25. Need for immediate gratification - I have no patience and want everything yesterday.
26. No internalized "good parent" - I'm too hard on myself for mistakes. I lack compassion for myself.
27. Intimacy problems - I'm afraid to truly open up to another person.
28. Trouble having real pleasure - I cannot enjoy simple, fun activities.
David Allan Reeves
Author of "Running Away From Me"
48 of 52 people found the following review helpful.
great book for understanding & overcoming addictions
By A Customer
I thought before I purchased this book that I "might" have an addiction. This book clearly shows how the seed of addiction is planted in childhood. At times the book really hit hard; reading the symptoms and feelings THAT I HAD made me realize there was no denying that I have an addictive personality. The author is very encouraging, but doesn't promise a "quick fix". The book is to be used as a tool to help one on their journey to overcome their addiction(s). I'm happy to say i'm on my way to overcoming 3 addictions with the help of this book and an online 12 step program. I recommend this book to anyone who thinks they might have an addiction.
32 of 32 people found the following review helpful.
this is the best book on addiction I have ever read!
By jo goode
Willpower is not Enough is the best book on addiction that i have read so far and i have read dozens. it gives a brilliant breakdown of the personality traits that most addicts tend to have, why people become addicts and why they continue to use drugs despite such painful consequences, the typical kinds of families that addicts tend to come from, what drugs really offer the drug addict that make the consequences so worth it, what codependents get out of their obsession, and finally a step by step guide explaining how to pull oneself out of the hopeless cycle of addiction and into healthy living. this book is comprehensive, brilliant, original, brave, and hopeful.
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